Me too! Me too!

Oh happy day, or, Holly plays political pundit.

On election night in 2004, I happily went to sleep to news that Kerry was projected to win, and then woke up to the horrifying announcement that, no, Bush had been re-elected. I relish recounting this grim tale, much like Large Marge telling Pee-Wee about "the worst accident....I ever seen." So I am wary of becoming too overjoyed at the Democrats' victory. But I have felt quite warm and fuzzy inside today. Like maybe the world isn't so scary after all. I've even felt so charitable that I momentarily thought, "Well, maybe G-Dub isn't PURE evil..." That's when I knew I was experiencing a wave of euphoria that was temporarily clouding my judgment.

My wish list for the new Congress: pass Bush's immigration legislation, campaign finance reform, live up to promises of more ethical and reasonable politics, UNcut the Bush tax cuts. I think these are reasonable - I'm not asking for a nationalized health care system, for the same reason I don't ask my parents to buy me a horse. But wait, what did I forget to mention? Oh yeah, maybe somebody in the government can actually grow a backbone now and acknowledge the fact that the reasons for going to war in Iraq were fabricated, that it's all about oil and profits for Bush and Co., and that Bush has been grossly expanding and abusing executive power, not to mention blatantly violating the Constitution and various international laws, not only ignoring actual national security issues but probably making them much much worse? Not only acknowledge it, but do something about it? Yes, that would be nice.

Most of all, I just don't want the Democrats to blow it. I'd rather see Bush finish out his presidency in relative comfort and be replaced by a Democrat than see Bush impeached, but then get all kinds of Republican backlash, cause then we'll just be in the same mess all over again. And I'm sorry, but I really really really don't want Hillary Clinton to run in 2008, because I think that Republicans just hate her too much. No Republican would vote for her, in fact I think they would turn out in droves just to vote against her. I want Howard Dean back! How is it that he got totally blackballed just for saying "Byahhhhh!"? Maybe that Dave Chappelle sketch about it can turn it back in his favor. How great would a Dean/Obama ticket be? Then VP Obama can be President after that.

Wow for the past few years I have been suppressing all of my political enthusiasm, because in the recent climate, it would mostly manifest as annoyance, despair, and blinding rage. Now it is all coming out in excessive amounts, and in the form of idealistic, overly eager fantasies. Surrrrre, Obama can run in 2016 with Elmo as his running mate. Then House Speaker Falkor can pull Santa's sleigh around the world dispensing giant lollies and the cure for AIDS, and performing the occasional gay wedding ceremony. Then Jake Gyllenhaal will propose to me, bearing a Stradivarius cello in lieu of an engagement ring. We'll live in a giant treehouse, and he will have no problem with naming our first son Huckleberry.

OMG the guy who does the voice of Elmo should totally become an ordained minister. How great would it be to be married by Elmo? The best would be a Jewish wedding - Elmo in a little yarmulke and tallit! That would have to be the most adorable thing ever.

posted by Holly @ 9:29 PM