We'll Lead as Two Kings...
I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!
Did you know that, despite my generally sunny and silly disposition, I am a big fan of post-apocalyptic, dystopian literature? 1984, Brave New World, Fahrenheit 451, I LOVE all that stuff! It's so scary, and depressing, and likely to come true! This came to mind when I was watching an old episode of Late Night on my Tivo. Conan was interviewing some scientist who was predicting that within the next 20 years or so, humans will begin melding technology with their own bodies, saying that we as a race will need to accelerate our own evolution with technology in order to solve the problems facing society. He was even advocating implanting a chip in the brain that would allow you to access the internet just by thinking about it, saying that you would then have all the information in the world constantly and readily available to you.
Is this guy out of his fucking mind? Am I the only one who thinks this is an absolutely horrible idea? Has he never seen the Matrix? I know, Einstein is always quoted as saying that he would never memorize anything that he could look up. But Einstein looked stuff up in books. Books, which you own and control, so you know the information is not being changed, and which are distributed by publishing companies which can be held accountable for their content. The internet, by contrast, is about 99% crap which (stupid) people often take as fact, which is why anybody who primarily gets their political views from blogs should probably be barred from voting. Can you imagine if people were relying on the internet for ALL of their knowledge, and if it was IN THEIR BRAINS so they would never actually remember anything? The government would literally be able to rewrite history (even more than they already do), and nobody would have genuine memories to contradict them. Not to mention the whole Terminator scenario of technology taking over and what not. Eeeeeeek!
I'm not terribly worried, though. This scientist cited global warming as an example of problem we would need this sort of technological augmentation to solve, but last time I checked, we already know exactly how to solve that problem. It's just a matter of getting the government to tell oil companies to go suck eggs, and get going with the alternative energy already! Yup, it's that simple, problem solved, Holly for President! Aren't lots of our problems caused by technology run amok anyways? It seems like we should be trying to rein it in, not putting it in our frickin brains!!
Send questions, comments, and non-perishable food items to: Crazy Lady, Shack in the Woods, Saskatchewan, Canada.
Katieland
Visiting Katie in Wisconsin Rapids was super fun. I patronized my first Copps grocery store, where I heard the thickest, most authentic Wisconsin accent ever from the cashier ("Do you need a 'bague' with that?"). While there, I also saw several people dressed in head-to-toe green and yellow, as well as what I, as an Illinoisan, can only call an astonishing selection of sausages and cheeses. I sampled cheesy tots, a local delicacy, and developed an obsessive love for sweet potato fries. I also had the opportunity to wonder if a hunter carting three deer corpses would qualify for the car pool lane. Seeing Michael Anthony roller skate for the first time ever in his life, seeing Pez slither around in a sleeping bag like the Grinch, and helping Katie demonstrate a cooperative stretch that looks and sounds like a sex act - it was all gold.
In other news, I finally got the new Beck CD (I was third or fourth on the waiting list at the library). It's pretty much the same as Odelay or Guero, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Did you know that Beck is a Scientologist? How does that make you feel? A couple weeks ago I went to see Kathy Griffin, and she did a whole bit about Scientology and how you automatically think less of a person when you find out they are a Scientologist. I must say that it is kind of true. She listed all the celebrities that are Scientologists, and when she included Jason Lee, about 50% of the audience gasped and then sighed with pure horror and disappointment. Not Earl! But alas it is true! While I must say that I am disturbed by the way that Scientology blends religion with profitable, New Age-y self-help mumbo jumbo (not to mention the stuff about, like, you know, aliens and volcanoes), I don't really have a problem with it. If it helps you, and you don't have a problem with paying your church thousands of dollars, then more power to you...although it would be nice if wealthy people would give that money to charities instead, but oh well. And I like Tom and Katie! There, I said it! If marrying Tom Cruise continues to keep Katie Holmes from acting, then I am in favor of it.
Little Updates
• I rejoined Facebook, cause I don't know anyone's email address, so I had to keep reactivating, getting the address, and then deactivating again. Plus, I haven't been reading a lot lately, so I have all this extra procrastination time. Additionally, I am weak.
• I saw "Stranger than Fiction" (which is so hard to say without accidentally saying "Strangers with Candy"). It was pretty good, but the highlight was definitely Dustin Hoffman. Isn't he just the best part of any movie? MAN if he were 40 years younger, I'd be arrested for stalking him.
• In my family, we often take a regular statement and turn it into an insult, OR a compliment to ourselves. Like, if I say "That sweater is so ugly," Lisa will say "YOU'RE so ugly." And if Lisa says, "That dog is so cute!" I'll say "I'M so cute." So, yesterday, my brother was talking about the new Iron Maiden album, which he has deemed "The best record ever." Accordingly, I said, "I'M the best record ever." To which he replied, "Ah yes, Holly the Record. Including the tracks, 'Whaaa?!' and 'That's funnyyyyy.'" THEN Lisa said, "Yeah, and the hit single,'This one time, on the Office....'" THEN my MOM said, "Not to mention, 'OMG!'" EVEN BON BON turned on me. Oh well it was actually pretty funny....and accurate.
• CANNOT WAIT to go to Rapids and see Kazatie. Roller rink! I want to reenact scenes from Xanadu.
Oh happy day, or, Holly plays political pundit.
On election night in 2004, I happily went to sleep to news that Kerry was projected to win, and then woke up to the horrifying announcement that, no, Bush had been re-elected. I relish recounting this grim tale, much like Large Marge telling Pee-Wee about "the worst accident....I ever seen." So I am wary of becoming too overjoyed at the Democrats' victory. But I have felt quite warm and fuzzy inside today. Like maybe the world isn't so scary after all. I've even felt so charitable that I momentarily thought, "Well, maybe G-Dub isn't PURE evil..." That's when I knew I was experiencing a wave of euphoria that was temporarily clouding my judgment.
My wish list for the new Congress: pass Bush's immigration legislation, campaign finance reform, live up to promises of more ethical and reasonable politics, UNcut the Bush tax cuts. I think these are reasonable - I'm not asking for a nationalized health care system, for the same reason I don't ask my parents to buy me a horse. But wait, what did I forget to mention? Oh yeah, maybe somebody in the government can actually grow a backbone now and acknowledge the fact that the reasons for going to war in Iraq were fabricated, that it's all about oil and profits for Bush and Co., and that Bush has been grossly expanding and abusing executive power, not to mention blatantly violating the Constitution and various international laws, not only ignoring actual national security issues but probably making them much much worse? Not only acknowledge it, but do something about it? Yes, that would be nice.
Most of all, I just don't want the Democrats to blow it. I'd rather see Bush finish out his presidency in relative comfort and be replaced by a Democrat than see Bush impeached, but then get all kinds of Republican backlash, cause then we'll just be in the same mess all over again. And I'm sorry, but I really really really don't want Hillary Clinton to run in 2008, because I think that Republicans just hate her too much. No Republican would vote for her, in fact I think they would turn out in droves just to vote against her. I want Howard Dean back! How is it that he got totally blackballed just for saying "Byahhhhh!"? Maybe that Dave Chappelle sketch about it can turn it back in his favor. How great would a Dean/Obama ticket be? Then VP Obama can be President after that.
Wow for the past few years I have been suppressing all of my political enthusiasm, because in the recent climate, it would mostly manifest as annoyance, despair, and blinding rage. Now it is all coming out in excessive amounts, and in the form of idealistic, overly eager fantasies. Surrrrre, Obama can run in 2016 with Elmo as his running mate. Then House Speaker Falkor can pull Santa's sleigh around the world dispensing giant lollies and the cure for AIDS, and performing the occasional gay wedding ceremony. Then Jake Gyllenhaal will propose to me, bearing a Stradivarius cello in lieu of an engagement ring. We'll live in a giant treehouse, and he will have no problem with naming our first son Huckleberry.
OMG the guy who does the voice of Elmo should totally become an ordained minister. How great would it be to be married by Elmo? The best would be a Jewish wedding - Elmo in a little yarmulke and tallit! That would have to be the most adorable thing ever.
Election Day
It's Election Day! Don't forget to vote!
Don't worry, I would never presume to tell you HOW to vote (unless you ask, like my sister does. She pretty much just does my bidding! It's like I get 2 votes!). You're all adults, you can make up your own minds. I would suggest just taking about 10 minutes on the internet to just look up all the stuff that is going to be on your ballot. You know how you get in there and there are, like, all these offices you never heard of? It really only takes a minute to look that stuff up and make a reasonable choice, instead of just leaving that part of the ballot blank, or (heaven forbid) voting at random. Thank goodness for the internet.
Check out www.elections.il.gov if you're in Illinois, or www.elections.wi.gov if you're in Wisconsin.
While I'm here, I would also like to sing the praises of a decidedly less advanced source of information: the library. I have just recently started enjoying the perks of interlibrary loans. I know, these are usually used by students doing hardcore research who just HAVE to have a certain text. But can't I use it just to avoid paying $80 for a David Sedaris boxed set of books on tape? As it turns out, YES, I can. I always feel like I'm getting away with something when I walk out of the library with a backpack full of books/CDs/DVDs.
Re: those books on tape, they are swell. EXCEPT for the dopey MIDI music that appears at the beginning of some stories. Whose idea was this? The music itself is bad enough, but its lameness is compounded by the fact that it is clearly not played on real instruments. And the combination of faux-jazz with spoken word makes me feel like I should be wearing a beret and smoking a cigarette. Eh I guess someone thought it would be cute.
